Making music in the mountains ⛰ here’s a song I wrote called “Doll on a Shelf”
I’m not a doll on a shelf
To take down
when you please.
I’m not a whore that you adore only when I’m
on my knees.
I’m not a womb that you can crawl in, not a shelter
from your storm.
I can’t save the soul
within you, I can’t
make you reborn.
Ask me what I can be,
I’m not sure I can tell.
I’ve got demons of my own,
I’m a witch without a spell.
All I know is
love is in the hidden,
unseen parts of me.
My love is not my beauty
It fades, and so did we. .
Timbs rocked in summer
If suited swoosh jam no sucka
Bliss prudent a veer clocked by numbers
Sis hue bliss near soughts a stunta
No makeup. Bedhead. No filter. Just me and my chocolate shake.
This is hard. Some of you asked me in response to my stories the other day why living here can be difficult. Let me preface my answer by saying this is has been and continues to be an incredible opportunity. It has changed my life in so many ways and I would, without question, go back and do it all over again. I’m stronger for it, yes, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t come with incredible challenges.
I used to feel guilty for feeling like this was hard, especially being surrounded by a community of military spouses whose loved ones are consistently deployed. And even more so that some of those folks are raising babies — some are having babies! — in a foreign country without the individuals that have the power of making any place feel like home. I respect the hell out of those people. But that doesn’t mean my situation isn’t hard.
We have to stop doing that. We need to walk through the suck, feel it, without defaulting to, “But Susie has it worse.” What does that even mean? You’re essentially saying you don’t have the credentials to feel the way you do because someone, unrelated to you, has a different life. That. Makes. No. Sense. There’s no comparison. It’s apples and oranges. You are allowed to feel. You are allowed to ask for help. You’re allowed to cry and be confused. You just need to give yourself permission.
I will never take American convenience for granted. Dish washer, washer and dryer, dear God if my 15 year old self could see me now, how I miss efficient appliances! I will never take OrderUp (if that’s still a thing) or Uber or my lawn mower that burns fossil fuels but gets the job done for granted. I will never complain about weekly trash pickup or that it only needs to be separated into two piles — trash and recycling — not five that I still don’t clearly understand. I will never take emergency veterinary care for granted or being able to proudly don my yoga pants in Whole Foods. I’ll never get up in arms about getting the mail from my mailbox that’s within walking distance...(cont’d below in comments) 👇
At night when things were silent, you could hear their whispers among the soft breeze. I never knew what they said because I didn't understand their language. But I enjoyed listening, enjoyed hearing them go about their lives. The gentle sounds in the night meant home to me. Summer nights filled with the croaks of the frogs, the songs of the crickets, and them. The small fairies in the grass. At night they came out while everyone slept. They'd become so accustomed to me that after a while they weren't bothered by me sitting on the porch, listening to their sweet whispers beneath the moon. Nobody ever believed me that there were fairies living out in the yard, but I knew and the fairies knew. They were real.
And they were just for me.
45/51 days and counting!
Please try this and post with #3threesforme & @becomingwebster
I will be honest...would love to hear what other people are doing and thinking. 🙂
Please note I restate the purpose behind 3threesforme each day to continue growth and understanding of this simple practice. Comment and/or tag your 3threesforme to help others realize how transforming the mindfulness of 3threesforme can be. 🙏🏻Thank you for your time, support, and belief.
Mindfulness is scientifically proven to physiologically alter brain chemistry for the better, both physically and emotionally. Take time each day to be mindful of three things for which you are grateful, three ways in which you have contributed to the world, and three positive statements about who you are or who you will be. Maybe you find affirmations silly or unbelievable but give them a shot because you can change—for the better—what you believe about you.
3threesforme is not about finding the perfect observation, the grandest contribution or the scariest thing to believe. 3threesforme is about taking a few minutes each day to mindfully appreciate you, your world, and your potential.
Add 3threesforme to your life as you can, striving for a daily practice. No self-criticism or judgment if you can’t get to it every day; do the best you can. I promise if you find these minutes to treasure your world, who you are and who you can become, you will feel the difference.
You ARE enough just as you are.
Volumes 😩 -This post inspired me to right a poem
You often think you know a person but do you really know them, are they truly who they claim to be or is it all superficial just so they can get what they want out of a situation are they living a double life bicuriously through other things and or people that you don’t even know about what’s in the depths of your soul what are your morals what’s your goals the saying goes it could all be so simple just go with the flow but in fact it’s very much complicated when you can’t see past the exterior and the interior is so barricaded that it doesn’t seem to have an entry way who are you really is what most would want to know but is it worth reveling is it would they would search for high and low or it is just a mystery like the other hearts prowl
There’s an infinite stream of irrationalism flowing through her brain.
When there is no more space,
the thoughts reflect across her face,
turning its expression to stone...
The overwhelmed tend to appear cold.
to tend to themselves
They conserve their sentiment,
even as their hearts swell.
The emotion of it dwells
in a cavern filled with dark impulses;
Regulated by black & white notions.
Grey corners still existing
Calling to be unfolded
The color of exposure
That goes unnoticed...
Every author, 📚 every reader, 📖 has a plethora of books. I can’t look at a picture of a bookshelf without zooming in and tilting my head to see what books live there. 👀 But, just like the books themselves, I believe the objects kept there can tell a lot about a person. What does mine tell you? 📝 🐴 ⛺️
#📹 // Excited to use this old camcorder for something I'm working on💡🤫
📸: Seaford Beach December 2012
This seemed like a fitting first written post. Though it’s over 6yrs old, it’s just as relevant to me as ever 📝
OLD INSPIRATIONS - 9/02/2013
These old inspirations and
Old expectations of
What life can and has always
I need to write again
I need to fight again
I need to remember who
I really am
So these pages, these words
They are for everyone else
They are for everything else I want to be
They are for she
They are written to be printed
To be posted
To be picked from a crowd
To be spoken out loud
These are my pictures
Each word is a colour
Each sentence is a line
Just to remind you all that
Yes, I’m still here and
Yes, I'm still fine
I know I have this
And everything else.