Bitch if you build a wall, we Goan find a way over, under or around it ☝🏾 #AndStillIRise %90 of the times I post motivational/inspirational shit, it’s aimed at me first. God knows I need it 🤣only way AMA find energy to face these days. Britain is one of the most depressing places on earth, someone somewhere is gona say “well why don’t just you leave?” Watch the space Bitch! (Unless faith says otherwise) In the mean time, For someone like me who can’t stand Mundane, basic or predictable shit. We thrive off adrenaline & constant stimuli.
Anywhoo, just a small insight into my Thoughts.
Coming up from the valley today I spotted some words of wisdom in a window #AndStillIRise
Seems pretty audacious to say "I Expect Miracles!"
At least that's how I felt the first time I read it. You see I'm reading a book right now called May Cause Miracles by @gabbybernstein. In it she guides you through daily morning & nightime meditations & affirmations to help you make subtle shifts to lead a more abundant life.
To tell you the truth, I've had this book since last year and felt I wasn't ready to take the leap into making shifts in my life. A lot of that had to do with the fact that I had a newborn baby & all I could focus on was when I was going to be able to sleep next. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Fast forward to today & the fog of no-sleep has lifted & I have been challenging myself to daily changes to help get me out of a funk I felt I was falling into post 4th trimester. (You ladies that have been there know what I'm talking about... brain fog, anxiety, left over baby weight, lack of energy, etc.)
So this time in the morning has really become a magical moment to my day because it gives me a good 10-15 mins to check in and set the tone for it. Enter May Cause Miracles & that just added a whole new layer to this magic I was creating. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
One of my favorite affirmations in this book, that once seemed so audacious to say, has now become MY WHY in my Be 100 journal from the #morningmeltdown100 program. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
"I expect miracles!"
Saying this to myself, out loud, or repeating it while I'm writing it down daily creates this space that feels... powerful. It shifts my perception, it reminds me to be grateful, it guides my heart to look for & witness the small things that are good, positive, and full of love. It's become a reminder that miracles DO happen naturally, everyday. But we have to be willing to see them to witness them & to experience them.
I hope you witness miracles daily
I hope you have the audacity to start EXPECTING miracles daily
But most of all I hope you live a Miraculous Life because you realize that YOU are the miracle!
Have a beautiful Saturday!
4am. Back in CA, can't sleep, reflecting.
So #flashbackfriday to my first Instagram selfie, taken during a grad school semester in the Açores in Europe in 2013. I was so nervous (my Portuguese was mediocre plus the airline had just lost my luggage so I had to buy everything all over again at a big-box store called "Compra Bem") but hopeful for the future. See it in my eyes?
I have never lived a normal life. So many extraordinary things have happened to me! I survived being a human pincushion with infant botulism and it has been a hootenanny of an adventure ever since with house fires, car accidents, illnesses, bad investments, failed muggings, rape, hard deaths.
But then - Life! Skydiving, education, travel, kayaking. Lots of friends and family including Lua 🌚 and Piper. See? Not so bad. And so I keep going. No regrets.
As I try to summon the motivation to apply for a new job and keep truckin' after Alaska and NY, it helps to tune out the critics (who've never stepped into my shoes) or the platitudes and remind myself how strong I am.
She is still me.
I am grateful.
#Fridaythe13th#cursed ? #youdecide#thoughtsandprayers#thistooshallpass#FBF#truth#reallife#strength#inspiration#keeptruckin#andstillirise#survivalofthefittest#sorrynotsorry#morningmotivation#adulting
“I learned to recognise the thorough and primitive duality of man; I saw that, of the two natures that contended in the field of my consciousness, even if I could rightly be said to be either, it was only because I was radically both.” -Robert Louis Stevenson, The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
#beYOUtiful is ~ Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. Now let me tell the truth and shame the devil.
Last night I cried, cursed and felt beyond embarrassed and humiliated when I learned WITH all of you that my scene did not make the final cut of Queen Sugar.
But oh my beYOUties, now that I got my cry out, rested, meditated and received many encouraging words from my agent, manager, family and my true riders, I’m here to tell y’all like it TIS...
WHY my scene was cut, we’ll never really know. They say most times it’s due to running time which isn’t known till they get in the editing room. Yada, yada, yada.
Here’s what I DO know:
1. It had ZERO to do with my performance and my scene was not the only scene cut from the episode.
2. We made a fan with the casting director, the credit still goes on my resume, we will get the scene for my reel and the check cleared! Now look at your neighbor and tell em that’s a win, win, win, win.
3. Then there’s all the love the glam squad, Tina (Aunt Vi) and Omar (Hollywood) showed not just me, but my Mom as well for her birthday.... I’m just saying. I most certainly did not ask them to make those HBD videos for her. I just told them I was working on her birthday and they all genuinely said, “So what are we doing for Mama Rosa”... priceless, favor and a birthday gift she’ll cherish forever. C’mon somebody!
4. And lastly, reflecting back on the empowering and glowing words the director said to me about my work, I know there’s an even bigger blessing in this lesson. I won’t repeat everything she said but her send off words to me were: “You’re a delight to work with and I look forward to working with you again. Only the next time, we gotta make sure you have more lines. The camera loves you.” AND as we were about to take a selfie, the show runner jumped in with us and thanked me for “showing up ready and fitting right into the family.” Imma just leave that right there.
So guess what? I wasn’t in THAT episode, but stay tuned for the day my magic does pop up on your screen and remember this moment and this post. 👉🏾 for the rest of my post. 💪🏾
Still I Rise
You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
’Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.
Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.
Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?
Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
’Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own backyard.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.
Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?
Out of the huts of history’s shame
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
The moon taught me: It's okay to go through phases.
The sun taught me: No matter how many times you go down, keep rising! ☀️
Sometimes I feel like my authentic self. Other times I do not. I know that ultimately it is my mindset, what I choose to focus on and how I let things effect me that make the difference between me feeling positive and in alignment or disconnected and negative.
I am working on this every day. Slowly progressing my mind to naturally dust itself off and pick itself up again, to naturally choose the positive and re-set how I view things.
I am letting go of trying to control situations so much and instead am focused more on how I react to situations.
It’s not easy. Sometimes it is extremely uncomfortable. But I know this is something I need to do.
Well, I decided to share something I don’t think I ever have before. I word for word shared some raw, unedited writing of mine, from my notes, which basically is my journal. 😅
The anniversary of my illnesses was Aug 24th, and I wrote this on Aug 27. I wasn’t planning to share it, but I explain more of “why” I decided to share, in the full article on my blog. I say it all there. **Click the top link in my bio or “my personal blog” to read it all.**
Ps. Phoenix photo is edited by me, I don’t know who made the actual art, and that quote is by Joshua Graham. Giving credit where credit is due. 👌🏻 I just put the two together. 🔥