My autistic childs Psychologist explained that tauma is caused when something happened or happens where we don't have a choice or any control over a/or many painful experiences/events.
My child suffered from CPTSD as their trauma lasted years from the stress of educational schooling.
My child wouldn't/couldn't leave the house due to trauma and for a while I continued to force them out the door. More trauma.
My child wouldn't/couldn't get out of the car to go to school and for way too long I forced them to. More trauma.
My child would yell, scream, uncontrollably cry, not breathe, panic and say horrendous things and for a while I tried to stop them with anger, domination and fear. More trauma.
I continued their trauma because of the pressure and terror of what others (family, friends, services, professionals, strangers) would think if I didnt FORCE my child do what they're 'meant' to do.
A child is 'meant' to go to school, get out of the house, the door, the car when you tell them to.
A child is 'meant' to go to bed, go to sleep, stay asleep, not interrupt, not speak, not disturb, not carry on, not disrespectful when they are told not to.
And when I FORCED them instead of listening, helping, loving and healing my already traumatised child I continued their trauma.
Dominating my child to gain control or anything else out of fear and anger traumatised them more.
Whenever my child is distressed, fight, flight, freeze, angry, swearing, yelling, crying, not breathing or panicking I bring them love.
I put aside what I think I know.
I bring compassion and assist my child through their mental and emotional torment and pain.
I'm let others judge us to save my child and I.
As Bruce Perry says parents don't need to be professionals to heal their children, they only need to be PRESENT.
At times when I can't be present (becuase I am a traumatised autistic human too) I do absolutely nothing until I can.
Bringing healing to my child when I too am traumatised is the HARDEST thing I've been required to do as a human.
And that healing love frees us both.
*A/N! The person who plays Mark is Isaiah Mustafa!*
Y/n: Luke! Luke! please wake up!
I continued CPR until I herd someone in the woods
Y/n: hello? Who’s there? I’ve got a gun!
???: please don’t shoot
Wait what? This is A CHILD!
???: my names Katerina
Y/n: hey my names Y/n, do you have parents?
K: I was sent here with my dad but we was killed and I’ve been hiding out here ever since! I have no where to go and no other family so I’ve been hiding out here
Y/n: I have soldiers and paramedics coming soon stay here so you’ll be safe!
K: ok thank you!
*A/N: Recap, Corbyn was gunna ask Christina to be his GF again*
I told them and I was just waiting for the lectures to begin....
Ja: I’m happy for you man
G: sorry I was being a bitch but I honestly feel like you and Christina have a special........ I don’t know.....bond¿
Jo: bro we’re happy if your happy
T: I haven’t known Christina for that long but she seems likeable
These were the reactions I was NOT expecting, I thought everyone would hate me but they seem like they don’t mind me and Chris being a Couple..... but I still can’t get Y/n off my mind
We got to where y/n is and I see her talking to a little girl we decided to check it out
Y/n: omg thank god your here, I’ve been doing CPR for ever but I don’t have a portable AED so I couldn’t shock him
M: it’s fine just know your doing a lot ok?! And who’s this
I pointed to the little girl in front of Y/n
K: my name is Katerina
M: hi Katerina I’m Mark *A/N while this is happening the paramedics are taking care of Lukas ( if you see the name “Luke” in this story it’s just a nickname!!!) Ok back to the story!* M: ok we’ll take you back to base and get you a uniform and you can start to train ok?
K: ok ya
We went back to base to get Luke fixed and Katerina some food and water all of a sudden Mark came up to me
M: you did good today
Y/n: thx? I mean I didn’t die
He let out a chuckle
M: your very sarcastic like your mom, you know that right?
Y/n: I didn’t realize
M: and the sass
M: ok get some sleep kiddo were training again tmr and I think your going back out